December 2011
egotisticat:
excuse me 911 theres no food in my house
imthedad:
Jon and Kate Plus Aids
TYPE YOUR NAME: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR EYES SHUT: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN: matthewe
SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: About 3 things i was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and i didnt know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him
catnjazz:
hi who wants to open a pizza place with me where we serve every type of pizza imaginable and all of our tables have a built in Crazy Taxi arcade game and the only music we’ll play are Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtracks.
i want in.
me: keep tha change ya filthy animal
my mom: what?
me: what?
nigga-b00:
me and cat talking about how we met and its was beauutiful.
“NO BUT REALLY. HE WAS A CUNT AND I DONT LIKE HIM”
omg.
love at first sight.
changing in my room
me: oh, hi poster, didnt see you there
me: *pulls off shirt*
me: you like that, dont you, you naughty poster you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~: bigtimerussian: i wish i had a... →
bigtimerussian:
i wish i had a ghost bodyguard so if anyone bullied me it wouldn’t do anything while he was bullying me but later on in the night it would sneak into the bully’s house and scare their dog and their dog won’t stop barking and the family doesn’t get any sleep and they put the…
4 tags
c0yle:
talblog:
yo i bet jesus was a bitch nigga
say that to my face mother fucker
do it
Girl: I'm soooo baked right now.
Boy: Lol yeah you are.
Girl is actually Pillsbury brand cinnamon rolls baked at 375 degrees and topped with delicious vanilla frosting; available at Walmart.
tlyudacris:
i got the best christmas giftt
the gift of lord jesus christ in my heart
and 70kg of crack
tyronebanks:
blogofamadblackwoman:
wow of course little suzie loo mary paprika whatever df her name is can wear that brokeass hairstyle and be called cute but if i try it i’d be called ghetto ok i see how it is
#problemsofablackgirl
4 tags
3 tags
joshishollyfalalalalalalalala:
“See how I leave with every piece of you” Adele sang to a rich triple layer black forest cake
3 tags
patient: C'mon Doc, give it to me straight...
doctor: Well, the tests have come back and...
patient: WHAT IS IT DOC TELL ME GODDAMN IT!
doctor: You're down with the sickness
patient: Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah