doctordude: a female escort that does not own a gps lostitute
sh4ne: next year i’m going to dress up like a filipino teenager LOL @ UR SWAG t-shirt that’s kind of all you need
iroh: i propose a new halloween tradition instead of walking door to door to get candy i say everyone comes to my house and leaves candy at my doorstep then i can just step outside and pick it up happy halloween
gays could literally make anything and make it...
mother: Okay little daqueyna what do you want for your birthday???
little daqueyna: oh i just want stereotypes to end and world pea-
gay: OH SO THIS BITCH CAN DECIDE WHAT SHE WANT BUT I CANT HAVE MY NAME ON A PIECE OF PAPER CERTIFYING I AM GONNA GET IT IN THE ASS EVERY NIGHT WITH MY HUSBAND? WOW. *claps hands* WOOOW. *claps hands, tilts head* OKAY. I SEE. *claps hands* I SEE THAT. FUCK YOU LITTLE DAQUEYNA. FREEDOM FOR ALL MY ASS. *rides off in convertible singing nicki minajs Im a bad bitch lyric*
Me: my teenage years are gonna be a blast!
Life: whoops sorry
High school: haha yeah right faggot
Highschool parties: lol nope you're not invited
Friends: we don't need you anymore lol
Food: I'll be your best friend
Tumblr: lol I'm here for you
zachfuck: stop judas das gay u smellin fine
Getting out of bed for school in the morning: →
grapes on me: Jenna Marbles awakens from her... →
cashcrab: Jenna Marbles awakens from her slumber. She quickly realizes that this isn’t her bedroom. She is in an empty field, with nothing to see except the vivid green grass and the endless clear blue sky. Almost as if acting on a reflex, she starts planning a funny video to relate to this unexpected…
africans: i hope that next time it snows or we have thunder and lightening everyone on facebook updates their status to let me know or else how would i find out
drinkbleachmynigga: first kid that comes to my door tonight is getting a can of chef boyardee overstuffed beef ravioli second kid is getting a can of tuna third kid is getting this 5-year old jar of curry powder fourth kid is getting a bag of kit-kats fifth kid is getting a flask of seagram’s gin
thelocalpaedo: Halloween is my favourite night because little children come to my house, without me having to force them.
some girl: pushes you out of the way
me: do you know who I am on the internet